So, you're diving into the world of live-in nanny roles, how exciting! It’s a path filled with adventure, but it also comes with its own set of questions. One of the biggest we hear is, "What—and who—can I actually bring with me?" If you’re dreaming of your golden retriever snoozing at the foot of your bed or wondering whether your partner can join you, you’re in the right place.
Let's get right to it. The short answer is that live-in accommodations are typically meant just for you. While most professional nannies understand this, the topic is worth a closer look because we see some interesting requests come through—from hopeful caregivers wanting to bring a four-legged friend to those wondering if their whole family can move in, too. When a family hires a live-in employee, they plan their space, privacy, and household rhythm around one new person joining the dynamic (which is quite an undertaking for all parties as-is!) That said, there can be exceptions, especially when housing is separate from the main house. Knowing what's standard, what's negotiable, and what's a non-starter is key.
While families in smaller cities or more rural areas may be more open to making exceptions for the perfect candidate, when working with an agency and meeting families who are looking for their six-figure match, the expectations are often higher - not only are they looking for experience, a can-do personality, and someone who is going to stay the course with their family, they’re also looking for a professional who can commit to the role - not a new roommate who, like all roommates, comes with their own roommates (human or animal!)
Whether you're a nanny preparing your questions or a family finalizing your contract, getting these expectations clear from the get-go is the foundation of a great working relationship.
What "Live-In" Really Means
First, let's get clear on the lingo. A "live-in" role means you reside in the family's home, which naturally has an impact on everything from your personal space to how you pack. Families usually plan for just one person—the nanny—for a few key reasons: think liability, home insurance policies, the simple matter of available space, and the overall dynamic of the household. An extra person or a pet changes that equation significantly.
Unpacking the Four Flavors of Nanny Accommodations
"Live-in" isn't a one-size-fits-all term, and the specifics of your arrangement will shape your lifestyle and boundaries. Here are the common setups you'll see:
- Live-in (All the Time): This is the classic model where you live in the family's home seven days a week, both on and off the clock. It’s super convenient (hello, no commute!), but it requires everyone to be really intentional about creating clear boundaries around personal time and space.
- Live-in (While Working or On Rotation): This model has a few variations. A less common setup is for a nanny with a permanent home base nearby to live with the family during their work week, say Monday to Friday, and then head back to their own place for the weekend. More frequently, this style of living-in applies to ROTA (rotational) positions. These roles, often for fly-in, fly-out nannies, involve working on a set schedule like two weeks on, two weeks off. During your "on" rotation, you are fully living in with the family, and on your "off" weeks, you're completely on your own time, often returning to your own home in another city or state.
- Live-Out (with Accommodation Provided): Honestly, this can be the best of both worlds. The family provides and pays for separate housing, like a nearby apartment. You get total privacy and independence on your time off, with the huge perk of not having to pay for rent.
- Live-Out (No Accommodation Provided): This is your standard live-out job. You have your own place, cover your own housing costs, and commute to the family’s home for your shifts.
- Bonus Perk: The Housing Stipend: This isn't a separate type of accommodation, but rather a fantastic financial perk you might see with a "Live-Out (No Accommodation Provided)" role. A housing stipend is an additional stipend or reimbursement added to your paycheck specifically to help offset the high cost of rent, commonly used in areas with a high cost-of-living (such as the Bay Area, Manhattan, or mountain towns such as Sun Valley, Jackson Hole, or Aspen.) It’s a wonderful benefit that gives you the freedom to choose your own place while still getting some financial help from the family.
Can I bring my pet to a live-in nanny job?
We totally get it—your pet is family! But when you're moving into someone else's home, it's a conversation that needs to be handled with care. For a family, the idea of a new pet brings up a few immediate thoughts: What about allergies? Is the pet good with kids? Are they house-trained and quiet? Will the pet get along with our pets? And what does this mean for their homeowner's insurance? Is there enough space?
If your live-in position is truly live-in (for example, in a room in the family’s home), most families will have a firm no-pets policy, and it's important to respect that. Rather than bringing up a pet or assuming it won’t be an issue, look for positions that are live-out so that you can continue enjoying your furry friends outside of working hours - or if applying for a dream job that lists live-in accommodations, ask in your application if the family would be open to you living off-property.
Can I bring my partner to a live-in nanny role?
This one is a bit trickier. Bringing a partner to live with you is generally not in the cards for most live-in roles. An additional adult in the home changes everything—from privacy and security to the morning rush for the bathroom. Most nanny accommodations are designed for one person, so space is a real factor. Even for families with off-site accommodations (ie a carriage house or separate guest home on the property), the idea of a second adult who they haven’t met coming onto the property can feel like a deal-breaker, or worse, something that has been sprung on them during an interview. The general expectation is that, unless it’s expressly mentioned that the family may be open to partners or roommates, they are not.
However, that doesn't always mean your partner can never visit. There's a big difference between moving someone in and having them stay for a weekend. If you're in a long-term, committed relationship, you can definitely negotiate a plan for visits or weekend trips (either back home, or for you to take a quick trip together.)
When you bring it up, be ready to address the family's concerns head-on. You could offer to have your partner complete a background check, agree to a trial period for visits, set clear limits on how often they can stay, and even chip in for utilities during their stay. Having it all spelled out in your contract is key to making sure everyone feels comfortable.
Can I bring my children to a live-in nanny job?
This is the rarest exception of all. A family is usually hiring a nanny to give their children more focused, one-on-one attention. Bringing your own child into that dynamic can complicate the very reason you're being hired. Families will have questions about your ability to focus on their kids, how the children will get along, and the logistics of space, schooling, and transportation. Most professional jobs don’t account for employees bringing their children to work with them. But what about bringing them into a live-in role? Regardless of the age of your children or how wonderful they are, you have to understand that it’s not personal - and the reason families are looking for a nanny is so they can have their own reliable childcare. Bringing a child into a shared accommodation often adds a burden on other on-site employees to cover any childcare gaps in your own schedule - or necessitates other nannies, babysitters, friends or families coming onto the family’s property to step in with childcare.
While it's not completely impossible, it is highly uncommon. If having your child with you at work is a necessity, it's often more productive to focus your job search on live-out roles or those with separate, provided housing where the lines between work and home are much clearer.
Wrapping Things Up: What to expect when applying to live-in roles
Live-in positions are typically offering accommodations out of necessity: either because the family is in a remote area, because the cost of renting an apartment is prohibitively expensive,
Let's Talk Money: Expenses and Relocation
Talking about money can feel awkward, but getting clear on expenses from the start is one of the kindest things you can do for your future self and the family.
When you're working, some costs are a normal part of the job and should be covered by the family. Think mileage on your car for running errands with the kids, tickets for museum trips, or groceries you pick up for the household. But your personal expenses—like your cell phone bill, your own groceries (unless you've agreed to share meals), or that weekend shopping trip—are on you.
So, What About Relocation? What's Reasonable to Ask For?
This is a big one. If you're moving for a job, it is absolutely fair and standard to ask for help with relocation costs. But the key here is understanding what’s reasonable. A family is investing in bringing you, their new employee, to their city. They aren't expected to fund a cross-country move for your entire extended family and menagerie.
What does a typical relocation package look like?
- For Live-In Roles: The focus is on getting you and your essential belongings there. This often looks like a one-way plane ticket, mileage reimbursement if you're driving your own car, or a stipend (maybe $1,000-$3,000, depending on the distance) to cover a small moving truck, a flight and a couple of checked bags, or shipping a few boxes of personal items. It’s for your clothes, books, and things that will make your new room feel like home. It’s not for shipping a four-poster bed, a grand piano, or your entire Beanie Baby collection. The expectation is that you’re moving into a furnished room.
- For Live-Out Roles: Because you’ll be taking on the cost of housing, a family might offer a more substantial relocation package to secure the right person. This could include the things mentioned above, plus a larger stipend to help with the security deposit and first month's rent on an apartment.
Think of it this way: what's reasonable is asking a family to cover the costs directly related to you starting your job. What's not-so-reasonable is asking them to pay for moving you, your mom, your horse, and your hedgehog. Keep your request professional and focused on your own transition, and you'll find most families are happy to help make your move as smooth as possible.
What to Pack (and What to Leave Behind)
Packing for a live-in role is an art form. You're moving into a new home, but it's also your workplace. Your mantra should be: essentials and comforts.
Before you even start, ask the family what will be provided. Will you have bedding and towels? Hangers in the closet? Knowing this can save you a ton of space. Then, focus on your professional wardrobe, your important documents, personal toiletries and medications, and a few small things—photos, a favorite blanket, a good book—that will make your new space truly feel like your own.
What should you leave behind? Large furniture, any unapproved appliances, and—of course—any pets, partners, or children who aren't explicitly included in your contract.
Final Thoughts: Get it in Writing!
The most successful, happy live-in arrangements are built on a foundation of mutual respect and stellar communication. And the best way to support that communication is to get everything in writing. A verbal "yes" to having your partner visit or bringing your well-behaved cat is wonderful, but it isn't a guarantee. Your contract is your best friend. It protects you, it protects the family, and it ensures that everyone is on the same page from day one. By being thoughtful, professional, and clear, you're not just starting a new job; you're setting the stage for a wonderful and rewarding adventure.
