What Every Family Should Know About Hiring a Nanny Parent

Every professional nanny brings a unique blend of training, personality, and hands-on experience to their role. Excellence comes from many paths, and we celebrate them all. So today, let’s talk about one of those valuable paths: the nanny parent—a dedicated professional who is also raising their own children.

This is a conversation for everyone: for the families looking to hire, for our colleagues in the industry, and for the nanny parents themselves who balance it all with grace and expertise

Myth-Busting: Parenthood Doesn’t Dilute Professionalism—It Deepens It

Let’s be incredibly clear on this: a nanny’s commitment, skill, and professionalism are not diminished when they become a parent. For so many of us, there's a sneaky little lie we've been told: that pursuing our own ambitions means we can't be a "good" parent (this is especially true for the moms out there!) It’s a myth that keeps incredible talent on the sidelines. The truth is, it’s often the opposite. The hands-on, 24/7 experience of raising your own child adds layers of understanding and empathy that can’t be taught.

Suddenly, theories about sleep schedules, developmental leaps, and navigating big feelings aren’t just things you’ve read about—they’re things you’ve lived. Nanny parents often bring a new level of calm to chaotic situations because they’ve seen it all in their own homes. Their ability to multitask, problem-solve, and nurture is tested and strengthened daily. This real-world experience is an asset, not a liability. It's the kind of deep, intuitive knowledge that turns a great nanny into an exceptional one.

The “Sidekick” Conversation: When Nannies Bring Their Child to Work

One of the most common questions we get is about nannies who hope to bring their own child to work. To be direct and transparent, for the types of roles we specialize in at Adventure Nannies, this arrangement is very rarely a logistical fit. Many of our families require extensive travel, dedicated one-on-one attention for their child, or have roles within multi-staff homes where the logistics of a “plus-one” just don’t work.

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This isn’t a reflection on the nanny's ability, or on the arrangement itself! For many families, particularly those working with local agencies who are seeking daily socialization for their child, having a nanny bring their own child of a similar age can be a fantastic solution. It can create a beautiful, blended-family feel with a built-in best friend. It’s simply a reality of the specialized, travel-focused roles we fill. Our goal is always to find a situation that allows everyone—the family, the nanny, and all the children involved—to thrive.

A Fair Process Finds the Best Fit

While a family’s specific needs are always valid, let's start with a little perspective shift. As a parent, imagine you're in a job interview. How would you feel if someone asked, "Do you have kids? Who will take care of them when you have to work?" Or what if they commented on your energy levels, implying that being a parent would leave you too tired for the job? Those questions feel diminishing because they're based on assumptions, not on your professional qualifications.

That feeling is exactly why making hiring decisions based on stereotypes about parent-status is a line that shouldn't be crossed. Refusing to consider a candidate simply because they are a parent is not only unfair, but it ultimately limits a family's access to an incredible pool of talent. A candidate’s parental status should never be a barrier to being considered for a role she is qualified for.

So, how can families navigate this? It all comes down to one simple, powerful shift: Focus on the role, not the person’s family life. Getting caught up in someone's personal circumstances leads to assumptions, but focusing on the job requirements gets you clear, relevant answers. It's the best way to ensure you're evaluating every candidate on a level playing field.

Here are some hands-on examples of how to reframe your questions to get the information you really need:

If you need to know about flexibility:

Don’t ask: “Do you have children?” or “What’s your childcare situation like?”

These questions are often illegal and invasive. The real goal is to understand a candidate's professional flexibility and how they handle scheduling needs, which has nothing to do with their family structure.

Instead, ask role-focused questions like: “Our schedules can sometimes shift unexpectedly. Can you tell me about a time in a past role when you had to be flexible with your hours on short notice?” or “This position requires the ability to stay late for a date night about twice a month, which we would schedule well in advance. How does that kind of occasional evening work fit with your overall availability?”

If the role involves travel:

Don’t ask (or assume): "Wouldn’t having kids make it hard for you to travel?"

This question is based on the assumption that parents are less able or willing to travel for work. The focus should be on the candidate's professional capacity to meet the demands of the job, not on preconceived notions about their personal life.

Instead, ask role-focused questions like: “This role requires international travel, sometimes with little notice for up to two weeks. Is that a schedule you are able to commit to?” or "What is your experience with traveling with children, and how do you approach preparing for work trips?"

If you're concerned about energy and commitment:

Don’t ask: "Will you be too tired for my kids after dealing with your own?"

Because this assumes that being a parent automatically depletes a person's professional energy. The goal is to assess their strategies for managing a demanding role, a skill required of any top-tier nanny, parent or not.

Instead, ask role-focused questions like: "This is a very active household with two young children. Can you walk me through how you would structure a typical day to ensure the kids are engaged and happy?" or "What are your favorite go-to strategies for maintaining high energy and enthusiasm throughout a long day?"

If you're concerned about reliability:

Don’t ask: "What's your backup plan if your child gets sick?" Because this singles out parents and assumes their children are the only potential reason for an absence. All employees may need to miss work unexpectedly. The key is to understand their general approach to professional reliability and communication.
Instead, ask role-focused questions like: “Reliability is key in this role. Can you tell me about your approach to ensuring you can consistently meet your work schedule?” or “In any job, unexpected things can come up. What is your process for communicating with an employer if you are unable to come to work for any reason?”

If you want to assess decision-making under stress:

Don’t ask: "What would you do if you had a family emergency while at work?" Because, life happens, and personal emergencies are a reality for everyone. The goal isn't to find someone who will never have an unexpected life event, but to assess how a candidate handles pressure and prioritizes a child's safety when things don't go as planned.
Instead, ask role-focused questions like: “Professional roles, especially in childcare, can have moments of high stress. Can you share an example of how you've stayed calm and focused when things didn't go according to plan?” or “Tell me about a time you had to think on your feet to solve an unexpected problem in a previous role. What was the situation and what was the outcome?”

If you are looking for a long-term fit:

Don’t ask: "Are you planning on having more children?" Because this question is highly personal, often illegal, and rooted in assumptions about how family planning might affect job commitment. A candidate's professional goals are the most direct and appropriate way to gauge their interest in a long-term role.
Instead, ask role-focused questions like: "We are hoping to find a candidate who can grow with our family for several years. What are your long-term professional goals and what does an ideal long-term role look like for you?"

If you want to understand their caregiving philosophy:

Don’t ask: "How do you discipline your own kids?" Because a professional nanny's approach should align with the family's philosophy, which may differ from their personal one. The focus should be on their professional skills and adaptability to your family's specific needs.
Instead, ask role-focused questions like: "Can you describe your childcare philosophy, particularly regarding positive discipline and setting boundaries?" or "Can you give an example of how you would handle a conflict between children over a toy?"

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This approach does more than just respect a candidate’s privacy. It keeps the conversation centered on professional capabilities and ensures that you’re gathering the information that truly matters: finding the best professional for the job.

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For Our Fellow Agencies: A Call to Lead by Example

To our friends and colleagues in the placement industry: we share a collective responsibility to lead with integrity. Our industry is built on the very foundation of empowering parents—often women—to pursue their own careers, confident that their children are in excellent hands. It is a profound contradiction for our industry not to extend that same support and fair consideration to its own professionals. Our industry should be a core part of that village.

Across the workforce, working mothers especially face unspoken biases about their commitment and flexibility. We can, and should, be the industry that sets a better example. By championing nanny parents and guiding our clients to focus on qualifications over personal circumstances, we uphold the values we all stand for and elevate our entire community.

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For Nanny Parents: We See You, and We Celebrate You

And finally, to every nanny parent out there: we see you. We recognize the incredible dance you do every day, balancing the needs of your own family with the deep commitment you have to your career and the children you care for. Your experience as a parent is not a footnote on your resume; it is a source of profound strength, empathy, and wisdom that enriches your professional toolkit.

Our own team has been profoundly shaped by the power of moms supporting moms.

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"It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. And it takes a village to raise a dream."

In her chapter "Mom Boss" from our book, Adventure Nannies:Tales of Wonder, Wildness, and Wisdom, our Marketing Director Reagan Fulton shares her personal journey from being a nanny who doubted her own ambitions to a mother and creative leader. She writes, “I’ve conquered my own insecurities about motherhood thanks to the powerful women, many of them moms themselves, who have encouraged and mentored me... It was proof that I was capable of more. It wasn’t about being better than being a mom, but about being a mom and more.”

You can read more about her story and 9 amazing Adventure Nannies here. It’s a testament to the fact that a deep love for family—both your own and the one you work with—is a powerful asset. Whether it's by supporting nannies who are parents or by introducing exceptional caregivers to parents working in other fields, Adventure Nannies is here to support working parents everywhere. We are proud to be in your corner, championing the immense value you bring to your roles. You are thriving, both at home and in your careers, and it’s a privilege to be part of your village.

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