What a Nanny Performance Review Actually Is

A well-done nanny review is not a performance improvement plan, not a list of grievances, and not a formality that both parties know is just paperwork. It’s a dedicated, 360-degree conversation — ideally once or twice a year — with enough structure to cover what matters and enough openness to surface what wouldn’t otherwise come up.

The families who do this well describe it not as a review but as a calibration. Both sides come in with something to say. Both sides leave with a clearer picture of how the arrangement is actually working and what would make it work better. The relationship comes out of it stronger, not more formal.

Why Informal Communication Isn’t Enough

The daily check-in, the end-of-week debrief, the quick after-hours texts about how things went — these are valuable and shouldn’t stop. But they serve a different function than a formal review. Informal communication handles the operational: what happened today, what’s coming up, what needs to be adjusted in real time.

What informal communication tends not to surface: the thing that’s been accumulating for four months that neither party has found the right moment to raise. The scope that has quietly expanded beyond what was originally agreed. The compensation that felt right at hire but no longer reflects the role. The nanny’s professional development goals that have never been acknowledged.

These things live below the surface of day-to-day communication. A structured review creates the space to surface them before they become the reason a good placement ends.

What to Cover: The Structure That Works

Start with what’s working — specifically

Not “everything is great” — that’s not useful feedback. Name specific things the nanny has done well. A particular way they handled a transition. Something they introduced that the children responded to. The consistency they’ve brought to a routine that has made a real difference. Specific acknowledgment lands differently than general praise and signals that you’re actually paying attention.

Address the evolution of the role

Roles change. Children age. Family schedules shift. A nanny hired for infant care two years ago is now doing something meaningfully different as those children become toddlers and school-age kids. The review is where you name those changes explicitly, discuss whether expectations are still aligned, and update the work agreement if they’ve drifted.

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This is also where scope creep gets addressed. If household responsibilities have grown beyond what was originally agreed — more errands, more cooking, more administrative support — the review is where that gets acknowledged and, if appropriate, compensated.

Address anything that hasn’t been working

This is the part families most often avoid, and the most important to get right. Concerns raised in a formal review, framed constructively and with clear specifics, land very differently than the same concerns raised in the heat of a difficult moment or after they’ve built to a point of frustration.

The framing matters: “I’ve noticed that mornings have been harder since we adjusted the schedule — can we talk about what’s been making that difficult?” invites a productive conversation. “You’ve been late three times this month” invites a defensive one. Same issue, very different conversations.

Invite the nanny’s perspective genuinely

This is where a review becomes a calibration rather than an evaluation. Ask what would make the role work better for them. Ask whether there’s anything they need from you to do their best work. Ask whether the household’s expectations have been clear and consistent.

The answers will sometimes be comfortable and sometimes not. A nanny who tells you that the schedule has been harder to predict lately, or that a particular household routine creates friction for them, is giving you actionable information. Receiving it with curiosity rather than defensiveness is what turns a review into a tool for keeping good people.

Discuss compensation proactively

If it’s been a year or more since the last compensation conversation, the review is the right moment to raise it — without waiting for the nanny to ask. Acknowledge what they’ve brought to the role, note that rates and responsibilities have evolved, and make an offer. The conversation that happens proactively is almost always less fraught than the one that happens reactively.

The Practical Setup

A great review doesn't need a formal sit-down with an agenda document (though if structure helps you, go for it). What it does need:

• Real, dedicated time. Put it on the calendar like it matters — not squeezed between pickups, and not tacked onto the end of a twelve-hour day when everyone's running on fumes.
• Privacy. This conversation happens away from little ears. Your nanny can't speak candidly about the role while the kiddos are in the room, and neither can you.
• A heads-up. Give your nanny advance notice so they can gather their thoughts and come prepared, rather than feeling ambushed by a surprise sit-down.
• A little structure. Come in with a loose outline of what you want to cover — enough to hit the important territory without letting it turn into a corporate performance ritual.

An hour, twice a year. That's it — that's the whole investment. And the return, measured in trust, connection, and a placement that actually lasts? Enormous.

The thing that ends most good placements isn’t a big blow-up. It’s the slow accumulation of small things that never found their way into a real conversation.

If you’re navigating a more complex situation — a review that needs to address something significant, or a relationship where things have drifted and you want to reset — we’re glad to be a thought partner.

Reach out at hello@adventurenannies.com.

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